Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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