So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
