After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i think im in europe. pls send help
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
