If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
