We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize