why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
