I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize