Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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