someone get that fucking seahorse.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize