Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
