Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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