how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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