So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
