You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
