What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
