I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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