I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
