just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
