it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just sucked dick on a ferry
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize