I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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