No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
