I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
