drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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