hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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