I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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