He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
