I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
