Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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