I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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