i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
