Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
