what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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