Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
