Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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