***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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