Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
