a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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