i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
