No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
