you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
