I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
