To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
