ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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