my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
