i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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