can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
