I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
