I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
