I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How's work?
Spinning.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
