You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
