They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
