You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
