What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
