so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
