She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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