why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
