dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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