so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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