So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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