Please, let me fuck your mom
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
