so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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