i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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