pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize