her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Randomize
