Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I have post one night stand depression
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
