So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
