Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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