It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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