you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
