He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
