who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize