Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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