you guys were way drunker than both of me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
