turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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