They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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