The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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