Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
