Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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